Day 14

Wow, what an unbelievable day!!!! Secrets, secrets, secrets......wow! I have waaay too much to think about right now, geez lol. I wish Patrick would hurry and finish the next script so I could just focus on that....unbelievable shit that is happening right now. Life never ceases to amaze me....truth really is stranger than fiction.

Day 13 Continued...

I have been reading the philosophies of Sartre, Nietzsche, Emerson, Heidegger, Kierkegaard, Thoreau, and Kant all day today...and it occurred to me what a terrible thing it was for my parents to have taken all of my philosophy books from me in high school and destroyed them.....what an absolutely ridiculous thing for them to do to me! They wouldn't allow me to take French classes and wouldn't allow me to read philosophy...(not that I didn't buy new books and hide them)And when I wrote something profound about love and tolerance and caring and hung it on my wall, they tore it down and threw it away! Could you get any more closed minded????? Really. Is it even possible? I'm lucky to have maintained my sense of self....very lucky.

Day 13

Just woke up...I have a full tank of gas but nothing to do and no batteries in my camera. Seems like a nice day though, pretty and sunny. Who knows what the day will bring....... ;)

Day 12

Had a great SIPS meeting the other night and re-did the myspace today. Waiting on Tyler to get back from Arizona to see if he'll be able to help with the job.... Soo bored tonight...ugh. I like someone though... :) a lot, it seems.

Day 11

This week has been one of the best weeks I've had in a long long time. The weather has been cool and calm like fall and we've had the windows open so all day long I can hear crows and the wind in the trees.... I've had a lot of good talks with a lot of good friends...it's just been a beautiful week. I soo have a crush on life right now.

Day 10

What a nice day. I mean, there's the usual bullshit from my dad's family, but other than the background irritation, it's a very calm day. Cool and quiet, with only the sound of some old crows and an occasional car passing along the highway in the distance. Still waiting to hear about a few jobs, but not expecting any news today, so I'm just going to enjoy the weather. pictures of the day:

Day 9 Continued...

Had a great day for the most part, but I was just sitting here feeling something and wondered if anyone else ever felt this way too... Do you ever meet someone you really like, but then find out they're way better off financially than you, and feel not good enough? I hate feeling like that but I totally have that "Pretty in Pink" complex. I totally wanna be like, "no, just drop me off here, I'd like to walk the rest of the way"....I am not now, and will probably never be, as well off as this guy, and as much as I like him so far, I just don't know....I mean, I honestly think he has more money than my parents...and I don't even have a college degree..or even a JOB right now! (not for lack of trying though) I mean I'm even nervous to meet his friends! (should he ever ask me to) I feel totally out of place. Do I feel like Molly Ringwald right now? Yes. *sigh

Day 9

Today I woke up at 10AM and Aiden had apparently gotten up before me. Well, instead of waking me up and telling me that Aiden was awake, since I obviously didn't know, my step mother just sat out in the living room and got all pissy and called my dad a million times to complain about me and then walked in my room as soon as I sat up and practically threw a poopy diaper at me and went "here you go" as nastily as she could. We just got back at 1130 last night and I'm already unwelcome again. I have REALLY got to get out of there because I don't know how much longer I can take this bullshit. She is the biggest bitch I have ever met in my life and all I have ever done is try to be nice to her. I swear to God if I don't find a job soon I'm just gonna go live in the homeless shelter. I'd probably get more respect. So Aiden and I went exploring today. We went to the fort and to the river and took lots of pictures!!!

Day 8

You know that awful feeling when you know you're not wanted at your friend's house? You know how awkward and crappy it makes you feel? Well imagine feeling that way every second of every day for three months...and you've just imagined my life. At this point I really feel like I am just a nuisance and that none of my friends or family really want me around. Anyway, I think I may have found a job and will hopefully be moving soon, but the way my luck goes, I'll believe it when I see it. Music for the moment:




The Cranberries


Aimee Mann


Pictures of the day:

Day 7

Well, I got to Illinois...but someone used half my gas and didn't tell me so...I noticed when I got all my stuff packed in the car and got ready to leave. So I got here, but am now almost out of gas and still have to go like 4 more places while I'm here, AND drive all the way back home...NOT gonna happen. SUCH bullshit as far as I'm concerned. How are they gonna drive out MY gas when they KNOW I don't have any money to replace it?! Whatever. Anyway....SERENITY NOW! Pictures of the day:

Day 6

Well, I was supposed to spend this weekend with someone, who of course changed his mind...still no word from The Limited, I'll have to call tomorrow...I applied for two other jobs. Anyway, I took these last night.